On Racism and Socialism -- Part Two

When we last left off, I was having trouble figuring out what kind of make believe gold tournaments I had gone to with a racist. I also foreshadowed that his switch to caps lock and excessive use of punctuation reminded me of something... so let's get back to it, shall we?

So there's a bit of a shift in tone on my part here, but I pretty much felt like I had reached the point of diminishing returns in terms of rationalizing with this man, so I might as well have some fun as long as a positive message is maintained. But dear lord there's so much to be said here. I'm glad Chris doesn't ripe out his black friends, first off, whatever that means. Second, I'm really happy that Harry Potter's dad weighed in with a positive message. He was the only one out of the nearly three dozen recipients of the original joke to speak up (or at least to hit "reply all"). This is because he is magic, and I appreciate that. And third, I finally figured out just what it was that Chris's text mannerisms reminded me of: the cliff-diving vocal stylings of the illustrious band Complete, particularly in the song "Beautiful Sunrises," which makes me inexcusably happy and which I quote above. In case you're not acquainted (or even if you are), go ahead and give it a listen:

Now go back and read that first reply of his while this is playing and tell me you don't hear the rest of these emails in that voice. That beautiful, painful voice. Anyway, with that in mind, let's continue:

And that's the end of that OH WAIT NO IT'S NOT because despite Chris's request that I not send to him anymore, he continued to send to me. This time it was a lovely collection of images custom-made for retirees, of which I will show you only a select few:

Honestly, as corny, poorly made, and groan-worthy as these images are, they are still a vast improvement in attitude. Although that second image with a man leading kids through a lone, misty wood almost suggests that child abduction is superior to buying children. And whoever made the third image has never seen a phone. Or an angle. Or their own writing. And the last one could be used to shrug off the criticisms of people who call him out on things like, say, racism. But I hope Chris realizes that I love him. I made sure to let him know I support his newfound positivity:

"You're not who I think you are" is my new favorite paradox. Maybe I shouldn't have clued him in as to how I keep sending to him. Ah well, live and learn I guess. And that's all for now. I hope we've all learned a valuable lesson here, and I hope all my readers have beautiful sunrises. 

BEAUTIFUL SUNRISE FOR YOU  (*points out of screen*)

BEAUTIFUL SUNRISE FOR YOU  (*points out of different screen*)

BEAUTIFUL SUNRISE FOR YOU AND YOU AND YOUANDAUAGHGHGUAG (*points manically in all directions, narrowly missing heroin cowgirl*)

(*gets tired, sits down*)

I love you.